O..M..G What's wrong with this month??? I have been encountering many sad matters.

Today is my school Sports Day......

Yesterday, i was reminded that i had to run for 4*100m CCA relay. But when i knew that my team-mate cum bestfriend joanne was on MC, i spent about 2-3 hours finding replacements. When i had settle it, i felt very excited as this was my 1st time in the 4 years of secondary life taking part in events on Sports Day.

I was still in good mood this morning although it rains until about an hour before my run. This was because there was a sudden change in the members running for this event. I was confused by them and wanting to ask for an answer but they treat me invisible. I could see that they are trying to get someone to replace me as they feel that i would cause them to lose because of my 'big' size. They found my junior who once rejected in running. They had asked the 2 of us to decide between ourselves. We both have the interest in running and i had hint her to let me because this is my last year to participate in this occasion. Nevertheless, she told them exactly what i had said and so it makes them a bit of unhappy with me.

Then 2 of them came to persuade me to let my junior run by giving me the reason that they really wanted to win. I don't wish to be seen as a selfish and thick-skinned person hence i decided to give up. When i told joanne and my other good friend shinying that they do not wish me to run, they 2 are very angry and go to confront them. When we 3 went back to the spectator's seat, they came to ask me back by saying 1 of them had duty on, which i knew it was false. I felt hurt suddenly, i felt that i was being treated like an animal, call me when there is in need, ignore me or kicked me out when they can managed themselves.

I am a human too....i have feelings!!!! I cried not because i did not get to run, i cried because i have lost my pride, i had no choice but to sacrifice myself in order not to offend others. I do not want to live in this world anymore.....a CRUEL world....

I am disappointed in every thing!!!~except for those i love
(My eyes is still in pain now as i cried again when i just reached home)

I had to end now....lastly, thanks joanne for giving me so much support.
BEST friends forever!!!!