Lonely.....I am so lonely......

It's me again....my colour today is greenish-blue.

I am jealous with all my friends. They seem to have lots of people to talk with,to play with,lefting me out.

Some of us are from different classes now, so sometimes when we all met, i had a feeling that they are trying to ignore me. They mostly find and talk to my other two friends who are in the same class as me. I was as if invisible. They only noticed me when i say 'HI' to them. My heart hurts but i did not show or say it out. I am very uncomfortable.

I am very scared that all my friendships are fake, they all lied to be my friends. I don't wish to have my childhood's history repeats. I guess my only way to prevent this is to continue hiding my feelings. After all, i am the one that is suffering, not them.

My readers might be stunned that i dare to say negative views towards my friends. Who cares? They did not visit my blog for hundreds and thousands of years. They only do so when i tell them that i've update, but mostly they do not put my words in their heart. So i am fine if they read this, which is most probably impossible.

I am really lonely.......